A quick poll at the office found much of the same among the men, with added additions of checkbooks, cigarettes, lighters, iPod, cell phones and combs. Pretty much what I expected to find. The women at the office had fewer items in their pockets than the guys: lip balm, tissue, a little bit of makeup, that kind of stuff.

The oddest item to be found in a pocket this day was a Sterling silver coin from Australia, but it is not a regular item in this particular pocket.

My mother says that her father used to carry a dried, roasted and blessed fava bean in his pocket. Sicilian legend says that as long as you carry the "lucky bean" you will never be broke. I had a lucky fava bean for a while, but I lost it.

The only reason I'm interested in pocket contents right now is that I recently had a discussion about the appropriate items for one's pockets with my kids, who are approaching the age of 5.

I remember when I was a kid I would stuff my pockets full of whatever I found that was semi-interesting. The best place to find pocket stuff was at the city ballpark, under the grandstands, while my dad was playing softball. As a parent, I would deem all of that cool pocket stuff as off-limits to my kids. The best finds were the bottle caps off of Lucky Lager bottles that have the rebus picture puzzles on the caps' underbellies. I could never really solve the puzzles, but my brothers and I had a good time taking guesses and making up silly solutions.

I once saw a rerun of Leave it to Beaver in which the Beaver didn't want to take a bath, but didn't want to get caught not taking one, so he filled the tub with water, reached into his pocket and tossed in a handful of "turtle dirt." I didn't know what turtle dirt was then, and still don't now, some 30 years later. I just remember the phrase and I remember it was in his pocket.

OK, so back to the present. The girl has been putting things in her pockets recently. Little things, like a penny or a piece of ribbon. Innocent stuff. Last week I found three crayons in the washing machine. I took them out, put them in my pocket, and eventually returned them to the crayon box in the house.

This is the point at which I should have had my "pocket talk" with the kids, but I got busy and forgot.

The next time I did the kids' laundry, after moving the clothes from the washer to the dryer, I found the paper wrapper from a crayon. A red crayon.

Had this been a movie, the foreshadowing would have knocked me in the head and I would have guessed exactly what was coming next and I would have been shushed because I would have turned to whoever was sitting next to me and said, "Well, you know what's going to happen next, right?"

It being real life, though, I missed it entirely. So when I put the next batch of laundry into the washer--the white load--added detergent and some bleach and turned the knob to "hot water," there was no foreboding soundtrack, no telling flashback to the little scrap of crayon wrapper.

This movie, by the way, would be in the horror/slasher genre, as when I pulled the sparkling-white load of towels, sheets, T-shirts and gym socks, it looked as if I had sopped up a massacre. Splattered throughout the load were huge bloody stains of red. The movie flashback hit immediately, so I knew what had happened, but I also knew that I was doomed.

Still, vowing to fight on against all odds, I went to the computer and found Crayola.com, which conveniently has a stain removal section of the website. It is first divided by the 46 Crayola products, most of which I'd never heard of before but nevertheless struck fear into my laundry-doing soul with names such as glitter crayons, Color Wonder markers and Portfolio Series pastel oil paints. I made my selection of "crayons (regular)."

I then had to pick one of 18 different surfaces that, once marred by a crayon, can be brought back to a semblance of normal by following the easy-to-understand instructions.

According to the website, all I need is some WD-40 auto parts lubricant. Then I must "place the stained surface down on pad of paper towels, spray with WD-40, let stand a few minutes, turn fabric over and spray the other side. Apply liquid dishwashing detergent and work into the stained area, replacing toweling as it absorbs the stain. Wash in hot water with laundry detergent and bleach for about 12 minutes (use heavy soiled setting if there is no minute timer on your machine) and rinse in warm water."

I followed the instructions religiously, spraying and working and toweling, washing and bleaching and rinsing, and I still have my "massacre whites." I'm thinking maybe if I toss in a few more crayons and wash them again, I'll have some real nice tie-dye-like items. Maybe I can start a fashion trend.

Until Gregory Watkins begins his new career as a fashion designer, he is the editor of the Almaden Resident.

Gregory Watkins, the editor of the Almaden Resident, can be reached at 408.200.1066 or at gwatkins@community-newspapers.com.