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The Other Sport
By Moryt Milo
She used to wear a blue shirt; now she wears a black one. The blue shirt had milestone patches. Now that's not cool. Last fall she was in the handicap division; now she plays scratch. I thought she'd follow in her mom's footsteps and become a tennis player, but she took up bowling.
How did we come to this sport? Where strikes and spares, splits and turkeys are now part of our daily vocabulary. Quite honestly, it was a fluke. But it confirms what I'm continually discovering about life: Every time you think you know the answer, it twists and turns and proves you wrong.
It only took one field trip during summer camp and she was no longer interested in tennis lessons. My daughter came home waving an information flier about a junior bowling league. I rolled my eyes in private.
Only one picture came to mind, shady characters drinking and smoking in a dark building filled with pool tables and a bar. A world that read "grown-ups only," with imagery like scenes from The Big Lebowski. No, this was definitely not a place I wanted to frequent with my daughter, let alone tow her little brother along.
So I nodded and smiled in that motherly way, which looks like you're agreeing but you're really thinking no way, and hoped the subject was over. But as fall approached, my daughter came back waving that flier, which I thought had found its way into the recycling bin.
"Mom, have you signed me up for bowling?" she asked, handing me the notice.
"Well, no," I said innocently. "I thought you were going to join the swim team."
"No, I really want to do bowling," she insisted. "It's definitely my sport. The first time I ever threw the ball I knocked down nine pins. I really want to do this, please!"
I took the flier from her and really looked at it this time. OK, it was only once a week, the cost was reasonable, and we only had to be there for about 75 minutes. I had to admit it seemed well- paced for an 8-year-old. So I made the phone call and signed her up.
When the day finally arrived my daughter couldn't wait to get there. I, on the other hand, was working with completely different emotions. We walked inside and my son immediately bolted for the game room, as my daughter and I were still adjusting to the dimness. I retrieved him from the pool tables and off we went looking for the lady in charge of the junior program. From that moment on my daughter was hooked.
It took me, on the other hand, a bit longer to warm up to the whole experience. I had to overcome my prejudices and personal wishes that my kids pursue other sports. But as my daughter's experience grew, so did mine. Suddenly we were watching her compete, and I found my adrenaline rushing. It didn't seem to matter that it was a bowling ball instead of a tennis ball.
As our exposure to the sport grew, I discovered how difficult it was to be an observer instead of a participant. My husband discovered the uniqueness of watching his child compete. My son discovered he wanted to follow in his sister's footsteps, and my daughter found something really special.
She discovered that on those days when school was tough and being with her friends was even tougher, she had an outlet. She could go to that bowling center, do something she was good at, and go home feeling better. She found a way to keep her self-esteem high. She also was learning some significant life lessons. She was learning how to deal with pressure, how to accept loss, how to be a gracious winner, and how to be a team player.
Now our garage sports bowling balls, shoes, bags and other paraphernalia. We always get a chuckle from our neighbors, friends and family who do a double-take whenever they find out that my daughter is into bowling. They often ask, "How did she get into that?"
I used to say "by accident," thinking it was just a passing phase. Selfishly believing that she would eventually come around and want to share the sports I loved. But instead, I discovered what she loves and how to share it with her. Because in the end, what's really important is to make sure that as parents, we're always there to support whatever our children do, for as long as they want to do it.
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