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All I really need to know
By JON HOORNSTRA
You could feel the excitement as whole families descended on the district's elementary schools last Wednesday to learn their children's classroom assignments. Dads, moms and kids of all ages, including some in strollers, plus a few dogs on leashes, lined up to read the class lists posted on walls and windows. Finding room numbers and teachers' names had all the drama of Oscar night when the presenter says, "And the winner is ... ."
Families came and went as I sat in a very small chair in my wife's kindergarten classroom, affixing blank name labels to each of 30 crayon boxes. As I plodded along, little faces appeared in the windows straining to get a glimpse of their classroom. It all reminded me of Robert Fulghum's 1989 book, All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten.
"If you want an interesting party sometime," wrote Fulghum, "combine cocktails and a fresh box of Crayolas for everybody." His point was that a fresh box of crayons brightens every face and lightens every heart. Fulghum argues drawing with crayons as children is a global experience shared by such disparate people as Ronald Reagan and Mikhail Gorbachev or the emperor of Japan and Fidel Castro.
Back in my little chair, I was careful to put equally sized labels in the same spot on every crayon box. Kids are sensitive even to slight differences, I was told, and I didn't want the incoming class of 5-year-olds to become disgruntled because I wasn't paying attention. Each student's name would later be written on the label in the same "just so" lettering style that only teachers have mastered.
For all the fun and excitement for the kids, the best deal is mine. A few days before classes began, a veritable caravan of animals and "stuff" began streaming back into district classrooms. When you consider the thousands of teachers who moved animals, critters, potted plants and other "stuff," the amount of space liberated from floors, tables and desktops would have to be measured in acres.
At our house, for example, a gazillion-gallon water tank with seven goldfish commanded a marble-top sideboard table all summer. Various potted plants once watered by students were squeezed in here and there, in much the way developers squeeze three new houses on lots where once only one stood. With the fish tank and plants back at school, the once-crowded table now looks like a great and vast expanse of the American West. I'm not putting anything on it for a few days. I just want to savor the open space.
Did I mention animals? "Tweety," the talking parakeet who loves to say "pretty bird," reported for duty, as did "Munchy" the hamster. And there was a forest of walking sticks. You don't know about walking sticks? Imagine a twig from a tree branch with six legs and you have a walking stick. Technically, they are species Carausius morosus, related to grasshoppers and crickets. A professor of biology at the University of Alberta established a website just for walking sticks in which he notes they are prolific reproducers. No kidding. We had four when summer began, but 44 made the trip to school last week.
Years ago I suggested to my wife that our house would be a lot less cluttered if she just got rid of all the animals and plants. That heresy nearly got me hauled before a disciplinary tribunal, so I dropped the idea.
Plants and animals are very important kindergarten experiences, she explained.
"They learn basic scientific approaches of observation and comparison," said the teacher. "And they learn how to care for and respect animals."
That's all I needed to know. And I learned it in kindergarten.
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Cupertino, California Since 1947
