Longing for light at tunnel's end

By JON HOORNSTRA

From the top of a craggy knoll I've had a month-long glimpse of myself as an Old Geezer. I ache, I limp, and I walk slowly. I'm more cranky than usual, can't stand loud noises, and I complain a lot. It's not my best side.

The old geezer experience came about by moving into a new home. Now, you may think that moving into a new house is a great and happy event. Well, it is. But I couldn't get to the happy part without a side trip through Old Geezerdom.

We spent most of September and October preparing for this move, which I admit was a short distance. Let's call it a mile, give or take. Still, you have to sort, pack, label, lift and stack every item you own no matter how far you are moving. At the other end, of course, you handle every item again. That's why couples spend so much time arguing about what to keep and toss out--and why I secretly tossed a few items without consultation.

I'm a Taurus, which means I don't like to move. Being organized, however, helps a lot.

First, line up a thick tablet of long paper because the list of things to do is long.

Second, start packing the little stuff right away because you won't have time for it on the night before moving day.

Third, plan on sleep deprivation and eating out a lot. Even with great organizational skills, it's unlikely that you'll get to bed before midnight during the two weeks before moving day. And hold onto a tape measure like a baby holds a security blanket. Is that refrigerator 30 or 33 inches wide? You won't remember such things for more than a few minutes, so just plan on measuring things again and again.

Fourth, if you use the brother-in-law moving company, make sure you rent a truck with a hydraulic lift at the rear. They save backs, friendships and family relationships, especially when it's time to move the piano and refrigerator.

Major players in any move are the utilities, companies that control your telephone, gas, electric, water and garbage services. I avoided voice mail hell at San Jose Water by using their email option. I sent my request and they called me about an hour later to clarify a detail or two. Very cool. PG&E was almost as easy.

But Pacific Bell was the smudge in the pot. I'll bet you didn't know that Cupertino is served by two area codes. It's true. Our little move took us out of Area Code 408 and into 650.

I tried to convince the voice at the other end of my telephone that we could keep the 408 area code.

"We're not moving out of Cupertino, you know. We're just moving about a mile down the road--same school district, same ZIP code, "I pleaded.

"I'm so sorry, sir, " she said soothingly, "but you're moving across a digital divide and I'm afraid there's nothing we can do."

It's not fair when a soft, kind voice delivers a hard message. How can you get mad at someone who talks so nicely, someone with a voice that oozes empathy and sympathy? My inner geezer wanted to lash out, but the memory of my mother intervened.

So here I am, relieved that the move is done, ensconced in a nice new home, surrounded by boxes waiting to be unpacked, hoping that the small light I see marks the end of the Old Geezer tunnel.

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