By Mary Ann Quinn
At the Live Oak Senior Nutrition Center yesterday, a 90-year-old gentleman having lunch whispered to me: "See that nice-looking, gray-haired lady who sits at the table by the door--I have never seen her smile."
I told the gentleman: "I'm going to join her table next time I come. Maybe I can draw her out and tell her some story to make her laugh."
I'm not only a senior myself, I'm also a trouble-shooter at the center. Occasionally, as a driver, I pick up seniors who no longer can drive, or I assist as waitress to serve the hot meals, but what I really enjoy most is trying to bring some caring and recognition to those seniors who hunger for a little attention. I think some caring is what that nice-looking, gray-haired lady needs. And that's right where I'm going to trouble-shoot next.
I will, that is, if the Senior Nutrition Center survives and continues to receive funding by the town of Los Gatos. Surely, the Town Council wouldn't deny or cut a grant to the Live Oak Senior Nutrition Center, would they? (The town funds a portion of the the county nutrition program that provides meals for seniors at two sites at the First Methodist Church, 19 High School Ct.--Editor)
My hands-on experience with seniors and their daily struggles comes not only as a senior and exposure as a volunteer at the Live Oak Nutrition Center, but as a caregiver. I cared for my parents for many years in my home until their passing. Mother lived to 100 years; Father to 97. When they entered their 90s, I coined the phrased: New day, new problem.
Because of my close association with many seniors at the center, I am aware of the day-to-day problems they struggle with. Admittedly, their problems are not all the same, but all do have multiple problems.
Do you know what it's really like to be elderly?
Do you know what the Live Oak Senior Nutrition Center really means to a senior? Here's how a future senior, in just one week, can take a peek at the future:
Current Senior: Lives in a three-room apartment.
Future Senior: Confine yourself for one week to just your smallest bedroom, kitchen and den; this will be your world for one week.
Current Senior: No longer has the ability to drive.
Future Senior: Don't touch those keys! Leave the BMW or Mercedes in the garage for one week.
Current Senior: Probably has one doctor's appointment.
Future Senior: You'll have to find someone to drive you to and from your appointment this week.
Current Senior: Takes one full, exhausting day to just clean three rooms.
Future Senior: Dismiss the cleaning lady and do the cleaning yourself.
Current Senior: The eyes just don't see like they used to, due either to cataracts or macular degeneration.
Future Senior: Put that favorite book down. No reading in bed.
Current Senior: Some (like me) have no family.
Future Senior: Isolate yourself for the week.
Current Senior: Limited friendships. Many have died or are worse off than you. Neighbors will be glad to call 911 if you have an emergency.
Future Senior: No business associates; no friends; no family will come to your home--especially if you are in your 90s because no one wants to be bothered with you.
Current Senior: Weekends are no different than any other day of the week. Just more of the same.
Future Senior: Oh no! Not this weekend. If you are going to experience what it's like for a senior, there is no get-away to Carmel or the Wine Country. Just stay put and tough it out like the senior does.
Current Senior: Three meals each day plus cleanup. It is universally agreed that cooking for one at any age is a chore, and at 75, 85, 95 years, it is a pain.
Future Senior: No lunches or dinners out this week. You're cooking for one.
Because cooking is such a chore for the elderly, many tend to rely on dry cereals, some fruit, breads and pastries. At 85, my mother declared: "Dear, I've spent 75 years in the kitchen. If I ever build another house, I'm going to build it without a kitchen!"
The elderly usually eat their meals alone. It is said that meal time, the world over, is a time for coming together and sharing. To understand what it means to eat every meal alone, stop and reflect for a moment on the pleasure you personally derive each time you dine out.
Take a good look around every restaurant. It is indeed rare that you see someone dining alone. Why? For two very important but different reasons: The food serves to nourish our body, and the socializing serves to nourish our soul.
At the Live Oak Senior Nutrition Center, seniors make new friends who offer mutual support because all are experiencing many of the same problems. There develops a comaraderie and fellowship that is a joy to experience and gives hope to many to continue and not to despair.
After that interminably long weekend, the elderly eagerly look forward to returning to the center for coming together and sharing the food that nourishes their bodies and the socializing that nourishes their souls.
If the Town Council denies or cuts a grant for the center, what will happen to the seniors who depend on it, and what will happen to the nice-looking, gray-haired lady who never smiles?
Mary Ann Quinn is a Los Gatos resident. Last year, the Los Gatos Weekly-Times featured her in a cover story detailing her daring life as a steeplejack.
This article appeared in the Los Gatos Weekly-Times, May 22, 1996.
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