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Photograph by George Sakkestad
John Alston spoke with students at Fisher Middle School during several days of presentations in Los Gatos and Saratoga last week.
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John Alston shares message that life should be treasured
By Jason Baker
While some see life as a constant struggle, John Alston treats each day as a gift. And, according to Alston, many young people are wasting that gift, even though they might not realize it.
"Our mind plays tricks on us. Just because we know better doesn't mean we're going to do the right thing," he said.
Last week, Alston brought his message of character, decency and common sense to students and parents in the Saratoga and Los Gatos school districts. His lectures were part of the Parenting Continuum Program sponsored by the Community Against Sustance Abuse, Teen and Family Counseling Center, LGHS PTSA, Triad, A Place For Teens, Los Gatos-Saratoga Joint Union High School District Health Committee and the LGUSD Parent Ed Committee.
An educator, psychologist, consultant and author of Story Power: Talking to Teens in Turbulent Times, Alston has appeared in two PBS specials and as a guest on the Oprah Winfrey show. He also has worked in teaching and counseling positions in the Palo Alto and Hayward school districts. His basic message to teens and parents alike is a simple one: "Life is a gift. Don't trash it."
Alston touched on the pressures students face in the highly competitive communities of Los Gatos and Saratoga. In the drive for success, he said, young people often forget to learn life's more important lessons. Grades and social activities are important, but learning the lessons that make you a moral and decent human being are just as important, he said.
"We say we want our kids to be happy. But when we talk about being happy, it leaves room for a lot of things. Ted Bundy was happy," he said. "These days too many young people confuse character with personality."
Sociological, political, technological and economic changes have led to a world totally foreign to most parents, he said. "For the first time in our history, society is targeting kids with ideas that are the direct opposite to what we want as parents," he said. "Kids need to learn that if you don't control yourself, someone else will. All it takes is a good story."
Alston also stressed communication with children as one of the most important aspects of parenting.
"Make sure they know you trust them, and talk to them no matter how bad it gets. But remember, telling them things is not the same as teaching them things," he said. "Never assume because you said it, they got it."
According to Alston, each person needs a rudder and a compass to navigate the sea of life. The rudder, he said, is the choices we make, none of which is without consequences. The compass is composed of five philosophical points to remember:
* Life is a gift. Don't trash it.
* Of all things you possess, the greatest is your mind--develop it.
* There is a goal in this life--to develop your skills and talents and give them back to the world.
* Become the most deep-thinking human being you can be.
* Remember that there is no guarantee on the time you have in this world.
"Your kids are a gift to you and a gift to the world, and you're a gift to them," he said. "Keep in mind that the world is waiting for their contribution."
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