Los Gatos, California Since1881
Opinions
| It's inevitable ... dads eventually lose their cool (By Dick Sparrer) Exactly when was it that I first became an embarrassment to mychildren? Maybe it was when I asked the serving staff at LaHacienda to sing "Happy Birthday" to their mom a few Februarysago.They were pretty embarrassed. Or maybe it was when I pulled on a wig and slipped into a dressfor the first time to portray a woman in a parents' skit at theirhigh school (yes, I said the "first time" ... I looked so fabulous,I just had to do it again!). I suppose that's a strong possibility, too.But when was it that I first started getting those chinks in mydad armor and slipped off that great white charger the boysthought I rode? Oh, I'm not feeling sorry for myself, mind you. I just reallywant to know when it was. Eventually it happens to all of us, you know. We get off to sucha strong start as dads. Our kids want to be with us all the timewhen they're small ... go anywhere with us ... do anything with us."Hey, Daddy, please take me to work with you today!""Goin' to the dump, Dad? Can I go, too?" Now it's getting a lot tougher to convince them to go anywherewith me."Hey, guys," I'll say. "Wanna go to the A's game?""That depends," they'll respond. "Where are the seats?" Ouch!It had to happen eventually. It did for me when I was a kid. I'mnot exactly sure when or where, but I remember a time in my earlyteen-hood when I didn't want to be caught dead in public with myfather. "Hey, let's go to the movies," Dad would say."The movies!" I would shriek. "We can't go to the movies! What ifmy friends see us? What would they think?""Well," he would say, "I suppose they'd think we like JohnWayne." Now, I did like John Wayne. And I liked my dad, too. It hadnothing to do with that. It's just that when kids reach a certainage, dads - and moms, too, of course - aren't cool. And believe me, my dad was not cool. Or at least I didn't thinkso at the time. Turns out, he probably was. And I am, too - my kidsjust don't know it. They just think I'm old.The teenager found me watching television the other night andsaid, "This is really scary.""No, it's not," I tried to explain. "It's a comedy ... with JimmyStewart." "That's not what I mean," he said. "What I mean is that it'sscary to see you watching this stuff. When I get old like you, amI going to waste my life lying around the house every night,watching old movies on TV?""Hey," I said, "it's not every night."Snappy comeback, huh? Oh, maybe he's right. Maybe I am getting old. Maybe I am losingmy cool. There are some warning signs, you know.You're old and uncool if: • You know that the best time to reach your friends at home is ona Friday or Saturday night ... and you can call them because you'rehome, too! • You have ever said to your kids, "It's all fun and games untilsomeone loses an eye!" • Leno is past your bedtime. • Letterman is past your bedtime. • The 10 o'clock news is past your bedtime! • You'd rather drive an Explorer than a Mustang GT. • You pick up an item in the grocery store, not to check theprice tag, but to check the fat content. • You remember Tommy Dorsey, but you remember listening to GaryLewis and the Playboys. • You look at yourself in the mirror, and you can swear you seeyour father looking back. But you know what? He looks so much more cool than he used to. |
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