Los Gatos, California Since1881
Opinion
| Weight gain, hair loss are fair game By Dick Sparrer It's curious. I could have a huge wartgrowing right out of the middle of my chinand no one would ever say a word about it - atleast, not to my face. I could have eyes that crossed, or one hugeeyebrow that spanned my forehead, or a noseas big as a cucumber. I could have any one ofthose physical features, and no one wouldever mention it. But gain a couple of pounds - even lose acouple of pounds - and you could be a topic ofsomeone's conversation. Or lose a little hair (OK, maybe a lot ofhair), and people you barely know feel quitecomfortable cracking those insensitive baldjokes. People you know well, on the hand, don't justfeel comfortable ... they revel in it! Every time I see this one friend of mine, Iknow exactly what he's going to say. It willgo one way or the other: "Hey, you're lookin' good," he'll say. "Lookslike you've lost some weight!" Or... "Hey, you're lookin' good ... life'scertainly treatin' you well," he'll say witha huge grin, pointing directly at the topicof his conversation. "Don't worry though,"he'll add, "'cause you're sure getting thinon top!" With that, he'll burst intolaughter. This is a guy who's a very close friend, so Ican say this with all candor and sincerity...I hate him! He has a full head of thick, black hair and awaistline ... well, let me put it thisway - he's never been too embarrassed to stopat the "Guess Your Weight" booth at GreatAmerica (in fact, I think he likes to). Me? Iturn the other way and run. There are partsof that amusement park my kids never saw! So when he mentions my weight, what I'd liketo say is, "Yeah, and you still have thoseugly little black hairs growing out of themole on your neck!" I could just tell the truth. "No, I haven't really lost any weight, I'mjust sucking it in and I won't be breathingagain 'til you go home." He really doesn't mean anything by it. It'sjust typical of our society. Some topics ofconversation are taboo, others are accepted. Mature people will seldom comment on anynegative aspect of a person's appearance (ohsure, maybe quietly ... when someone leavesthe room ... behind someone's back ... "Didyou see that guy's eyebrows? I meaneyebrow!"). I'm not sure why, but that same group ofmature people believe that it's politicallycorrect to comment on a person's waistlineand hairline (or the lack of both). It'sfunny, but the two areas of physicalappearance that are fair game in our societyare weight gain and hair loss. Lucky me, I'm afflicted with both (hey, it'snothing that a corset and some of thatspray-on hair couldn't solve). I don't know, it just might be nice if, whenI run into my buddy next time, he doesn'tmention my weighty situation. Because it'sreally not complimentary one way or theother. Naturally no one (with the possible exceptionof maybe Twiggy) wants to look like they mayhave gained some weight - and they definitelydon't want someone to mention it if theyhave. And what someone is really saying when theymention that you look like you've lost a fewis "boy, you were really fat the last time Isaw you." At least there's always the comfort of goinghome to the family that loves meunconditionally and doesn't care about any ofmy alleged physical flaws. Like the other night when I got home latefrom work. "Hi, Kevin," I said to my youngest son. "Hi, baldy," he said. See, he didn't even mention my weight. |
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