I watched my 10-year-old son's basketball team at a game today. I couldn't help but think what these loved, well-cared-for, wholesome boys would be doing on a Saturday night six or seven years from now.

Will we parents who are now sitting in the bleachers and cheering them on really know where they are? Which of us will leave our son home alone when we are away for the weekend? Who among us will serve alcohol at our son's party? Who will be hesitant to ask their son where he is going? Who will be unwilling to call and confirm with adults that there will be adequate supervision there? Which of the boys will have car keys and carte blanche? Will one of these boys end up killing himself or someone else as a result of immature decision making?

It is chilling to think that in a town like ours, where so many parents have the means to give their children the best of everything, the most important gift—the gift of consistent adult supervision—is somehow overlooked. Maybe it takes too much time and energy from a busy parent. Maybe parents of means have a false sense of security or immunity. Maybe we are too concerned with getting our children into the best colleges and the most enriching activities. I'm not sure why, but it seems that many parents forget that the most important thing we can do for our sons and daughters is to realize that they are still kids and to make sure that our judgment steps in when theirs lapses.

I am dismayed when my husband and I pick up our 13-year-old son from the mall or a movie, only to find that one of his friends has no ride back. We certainly don't mind taking this child home, but how could the parents be so oblivious to where their child is and who is driving them? I am amazed when an eighth-grader spends the night at our house without his parents ever confirming the plan with us.

These parents are kind and loving people who give their children safe homes, a great education and opportunities galore. But these are also most likely to be the same parents who will allow their teenagers to drive up a windy mountain road in the dark, with other teenagers in the car, to a house where no adult is home. Could it possibly be that on that fateful Tuesday night, the parents of 100 teens were unaware of the fact that their children were at an unsupervised party in a house up near Hicks Road?

There were two reasons to prevent teens from going to that party. The first reason is the drive itself. How would the story have ended if parents had prevented their young, inexperienced teens from driving up that road in the dark with other kids in the car? It's tough to do once a son or daughter gets the car keys, but it's not impossible to insist that kids accept a ride from parents in dangerous driving conditions. The second reason is the lack of adult supervision. How would the story have ended if even a few parents called the house to find out if adults would be there? If even a few of those warned other parents that there were no adults at home? If all those who found out didn't allow their teens to go?

Now we, as a community, are already wagging our fingers at the parents whose child was left to his own devices and ended up throwing a dangerous party. We shake our heads sadly at the boy who drove while intoxicated. We are indignant with the police for frightening the kids into running away. But how about taking a good, hard look at our collective parenting skills and pledging to each other to make some changes so that in the future our sons and daughters will be safer?

My husband and I have taken that pledge. We have one son who is a senior at Los Gatos High, another who is in the eighth grade at Fisher Middle School, and the youngest is a fifth-grader at Daves Avenue School. We want them and all their friends to be safe, and we beg the other parents to be our partners. There are no guarantees, but I know that we can make a big difference if we are vigilant.

Please, don't allow our kids to gather at your house when you are not there. Call us to confirm we are home if your child tells you he or she is at our house, and expect us to do the same. Don't let your teenager drive our younger kids anywhere without asking us first. And don't even think of serving alcohol to somebody else's children, no matter what your views are. Make it your business to let other parents know if you believe their kids are doing, or are about to do, something dangerous or inappropriate. We can stop them with each other's help. Of course kids can be defiant, devious or just plain careless, and there can be tragedies that no one can prevent. But if we are all willing to put forth the effort to supervise our children more closely, we can keep them much safer—certainly much safer than they were on the Tuesday night before Thanksgiving.

Yes, it takes courage and strength to face a teenager who is resisting parental control, but this is precisely when they need us the most. They have quite a bit of independence and not quite enough good judgment, and we witnessed several weeks ago how that combination was fatal for one boy and life-altering for another. We brought them into this world with love and protected them for so long. We mustn't betray them now by treating them as adults during these last few years they spend with us at home.

—Daphna Rahmil, Monte Sereno


Sex offenders not welcome in Los Gatos

My name is Peter Emanuel, and I live in Los Gatos with my wife and 19-month-old daughter. I recently read an article in the San Jose Mercury News regarding Jerold Linder being accused of sexual abuse and now residing at the Sacred Heart Jesuit Center in Los Gatos.

First, the person who accuses Jerold Linder is one of my best friends from grade school and high school in Los Altos, Will Lynch. So this article really hit me hard. Second, now that I have a family I am very concerned that the Jesuit center is becoming a safe house for sexual predators. This should not be allowed in our town.

Certainly, any parent with young children residing in Los Gatos or nearby communities must be concerned about what is happening. I'm baffled how these people are free to live in very nice surroundings at the Jesuit center and not sitting in a jail cell. At the very least these people should have tracking devices attached to their legs so that the local law enforcement can track their whereabouts. Even though I myself am Catholic and belong to Saint Mary's Church, I felt compelled to write this letter to the Los Gatos Weekly-Times to express my concern and to ask other Los Gatos parents and residents who are equally concerned to write to our mayor and town council as well as the local law enforcement to show our concern.

These people should not be allowed to reside in our town. I don't care who they are or what their standing is in our society. I believe if enough residents contact our city officials, this may ignite some action.

—Peter Emanuel, Los Gatos


Loss of electricity an inconvenience, not devastating

Maybe the best way to deal with the loss of electric power is to have a good attitude. Loss of power is the most probable "emergency" we will experience during the rainy winter months. It is inconvenient as all get-out, but the reason that it is inconvenient is because it is not devastating. Earthquakes, home fires, medical emergencies, burglaries and many other events are so shattering we do not see them as inconvenient—we see them as devastating.

Instead of looking at the loss of power situation as degraded living, view it as upscale camping. I say this because when you lose power in an all-electric home, or mostly electric home, you essentially are living in a very large, expensive tent. If you are a camper or backpacker, break out some of that expensive equipment and make life a little easier. Take charge of the situation and be proactive. Do not give into feeling like a victim of the event. Before the next storm aquire an emergency preparedness manual and follow some of the suggestions.

Recently I was talking to a man whose daughter became deathly ill this past year. She is bedridden, has gone blind and deaf, and is fed through a feeding tube. Yet during the recent power outage, the family opened a Braille Scrabble game from under the Christmas tree, lit some candles for soft light and made it a game time for the whole family. That is a positive attitude. So hang in there and make the best of it.

When all else fails, say, "The heck with it," and go to Tahiti or Bora Bora for a couple of weeks. Of course, that is a high-risk solution. You may decide to stay. Then you will probably have to abandon your spouse and children, sell your home, quit your job and cash out. All this so you can suffer interminable hours of walking on white, sandy beaches, basking in the sun, fishing and doing the hula. Hmm!

—Jim Oggerino, Los Gatos