You know, like dinner at your sister-in-law's house, and you just know that they're going to serve that wretched bagna calda with extra anchovies.

Or the invitation for dinner and conversation with those relatives from Iowa who are not only just about as interesting as watching corn grow, but that's all they're going to talk about—and then they stick you with the dinner check on top of it all!

Well, I received just such an invitation recently. And I just don't know how I'm going to break it to them ... but, George and Laura, I really don't want to go.

The event is being held to celebrate the president's first term in office and I suppose to raise a few bucks so that there just might be a second term—after all, the invitation comes with a $2,500 per ticket presidential price tag (of course, there's the bargain price of $25,000 for a table of 10 ... like I could ever find nine friends to go with me!).

In the president's personal letter to me, he asked, "Will you join Laura, me and the entire Republican Party leadership as we gather on the evening of July 21st here in Washington, D.C., to celebrate my first term in office?"

Well, I must say—the $2,500 notwithstanding—I was honored to be included ... it almost makes me wish I would have voted for the guy. And to think I could be under the same roof as the "entire Republican Party leadership" ... me, a lifelong Democrat!

I should have known my name was on some list. I've been getting mail from the GOP for months now, naturally always including a request for donations. But when the autographed picture of George and Laura showed up in the mail recently, with a note thanking me for my support at the grass-roots level, I knew that I must have done something very special to find myself in such company.

How they got my name I'm not really sure. I've never been a registered Republican (though there was that misguided vote for Richard M. Nixon back in 1972), and I've never donated to a Republican's campaign—or anyone's campaign for that matter. Come to think of it, all I did was purchase a George Bush jack-in-the-box for my brother-in-law, Dan. Oh, and then there was the George Bush talking doll, the GW bobblehead and the George Bush pull-my-finger doll (Dan's accumulating quite a collection!).

I suppose that somehow those purchases could have indicated support of the party in some way.

At any rate, what has resulted has been a deluge of mail from the GOP, including the autographed picture personalized with my name (I immediately crossed that out, then wrote in Dan's name and forwarded it to him in Reno).

Now comes the invitation for dinner this week at the Washington Convention Center on Mount Vernon Place in Washington, D.C. And while I have no intention of attending, I just might leave the invitation out on the kitchen counter for a while ... you know, just to show off a bit.

"You were invited to 'The President's Dinner'?" Natalie asked when she saw the card.

"Oh, sure," I replied. "George and Laura wouldn't throw a big bash like that without including me. I sure hope George Sr. and Barbara are going to be there. That Barb, she's a real cutup, the life of the party, a regular ... "

"It was a form letter, wasn't it? ... how much money did they want?"

Humph ... I hate it when she's right!

Oh, well, I suppose I'll have to respectfully decline the dinner invitation. You just never know when the Kerrys might throw a backyard barbecue, so I'd better keep the date open.

Want to talk? Call me at 408.354.3110, ext. 31, or drop me a note at dsparrer@svcn.com.