 I was beat. I'd just suffered through a grueling 12-hour day at the office, spent a couple of hours at a meeting and was fighting a miserable bout of allergies. All I wanted to do was get to bed.
There would be no Letterman tonight. Heck, I wouldn't even make it to KTVU's 10 o'clock news. I was turnin' in early.
My wife was just as tired as I was, so as quickly as our heads hit the pillows, we were off to dreamland. Finally sleep ... restful sleep ... aaaahhhh ... zzzzz ...
Beep, beep, beep, beep ...
We woke up with a start! What was that noise? Was it the smoke alarm going off? Was the house on fire? What the heck was our family escape plan, anyway?
Wait, that's not loud enough to be the smoke alarm. Luckily we eliminated the possibility of a fire before we treated the neighbors to the sight of us standing around in the driveway in our underwear.
And the sound didn't seem to be coming from the hallway.
The beeping stopped, but I peered through the blinds to check out the street just in case. All was still and quiet, so we hopped back into bed to return to dreamland. It was 10 minutes before midnight ... we were tired ... we just wanted to sleeee ... zzzzz ...
Beep, beep, beep, beep ...
There it goes again! What the heck is that?
Is it that carbon monoxide detector my mom insisted that we have? Where was that thing anyway--in the closet downstairs or in the garage? Wait, it couldn't be that--we never put batteries in it. Anyway, the sound's coming from the other direction.
The beeping stopped. Must be someone's car alarm down the street. I hate those things!
It was 1:35 a.m. Great, and I have to get up at five. I'd better sleep fast, I thought to myself.
Sure--ever try to force yourself back to sleep? There's no way. The harder I tried to close my eyes, the more they fought to stay open. After tossing and turning and tossing some more for about 45 minutes, I finally started to dozzzzz ...
Beep, beep, beep, beep ...
OK, what the hell is that! I can't stand it anymore! Oh my God, it's half past three! This isn't funny!
Then it hit me. It's not the smoke alarm or the carbon monoxide detector or even a car alarm. It's the timer on the treadmill parked over in the corner of the bedroom.
The muffled beeping sound was fighting its way through the pile of clothes slung over the top of the exercise machine to wake us up every two hours.
What could have brought that on? We've had that thing since my wife gave it to me for Christmas, and no one's been near it since New Year's ... except, of course, to grab a shirt or a pair of pants draped over the handrails.
Now suddenly it starts beeping every two hours throughout the night. What could it be? A sign? A message? Maybe, but we'll deal with that tomorrow. Right now I'll just push a few buttons and we'll get back to sleeeee ... zzzz ...
Beep, beep, beep, beep ...
Not again! I thought I turned that damn thing off! Oh no, it's not the treadmill, it's the clock radio. It's time to go to work. Thanks to that noisy piece of exercise equipment, I didn't get two hours of uninterrupted sleep all night.
I was tired again that night when I got home from work, but this time I didn't go right to bed. I couldn't help but think about the message that beeping had sent my way the night before.
So before I went to bed that night, I pulled on my sweats and sneakers, dragged all the clothes off the treadmill ... and moved it out into the garage alongside the exercise bike and the rowing machine.
Sweet dreams!
Want to talk? Give me a call at 408.354.3110, or write to dsparrer@svcn.com.
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