Rose Garden Resident
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DeFrank gives singles three minutes to find potential date at 'speed' event
By Mary Gottschalk
The Billy DeFrank Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Community Center is shining a spotlight on its speed dating events.
The DeFrank has been hosting separate speed dating evenings for men and women for more than two years, but hasn't publicized them.
"This time we're trying to be more active in the process," says Chris Weber, director of development and communication for the DeFrank.
The upcoming speed dating evenings are Jan. 30 for women and Feb. 6 for men.
"This time it's right before Valentine's Day to give everyone an opportunity to find that first date or be romantically happy on Valentine's Day," Weber says.
The evenings start with a half-hour reception with what Weber calls an ice breaker.
One ice breaker used at past DeFrank speed dating events is distributing an equal number of different-size nuts and bolts to participants. They then must find their matching piece.
The initial pairing becomes the first "date," usually a three-minute exchange where questions and answers are exchanged.
After three minutes, each person moves on to a new person, round robin style.
Most events attract 30 people, and participants meet and talk to at least 15 others.
Each person has a sheet of paper with the first names and last initials of all the other participants, with space for taking notes.
At the end of the speed dating portion of the evening, there is another half-hour for socializing and for filling out what are called "wink cards."
These cards signify a desire to connect with one of the other participants.
Weber says if mutual interest is expressed, contact information is sent to each person.
Weber says that there is absolutely a need for speed dating in the LGBT community.
"The more opportunities people have to meet other people with similar backgrounds and interests is always beneficial," he says.
"Times have changed and it's a little easier, but there is still a social stigma for some members of the LGBT community. In the South Bay, we have limited resources outside of bars and clubs.
"We don't have a vibrant community with as many different options as San Francisco. This is another option for meeting people in a safe and culturally sensitive environment."
Weber says the DeFrank has food and wine on hand and works to create a comfortable environment for the speed dating evenings.
The concept of speed dating is most often credited to a rabbi who wanted to help Jewish singles meet.
Others quickly picked up the concept and over the past decade, it has been glamorized on TV, including Sex and the City, The Simpsons and CSI Miami. More recently, businesses have picked up on it with a variation they call "speed networking."
However, it doesn't adapt to every situation. When Utah Republicans charged lobbyists $100 per person to speed date with elected officials last year, it was widely criticized. The party decided not to repeat the event this year.
Billy DeFrank LGBT Speed Dating evenings are Jan. 30 for women and Feb. 6 for men. Groups meet at 6:30 p.m. in the DeFrank Center's ballroom, 938 The Alameda. Fee is $25 for DeFrank members, $30 for non-members. For additional information or to register, visit www.defrank.org/events or call 408.293.3040.
