|
Raising one child is challenging enough. It's even more challenging rearing twins. But fortunately two Willow Glen mothers of twins consider this one of the best places to bring up their young families.
Occasionally, Michelle Walsh, 30, will walk her 2-year-old twins, Isabella and Abigail, in a two-seated stroller down Lincoln Avenue.
She normally walks the twins and her newborn, Emily—carried in a papoose—about four miles a day between five or six days a week.
"And we typically don't stop. I used to stop when I just had the twins, and we'd get a bagel, but when you have a little one, you feed them and then you're out the door, and then you have so much time before the next feeding," Walsh said.
Walsh was 16 weeks into her pregnancy when she had her first ultrasound and learned she was carrying twins.
"I thought I was having a boy," she said. "But I learned later they were both going to be girls. With twins you have an ultrasound every month because you're considered a high-risk pregnancy. So by the sixth or seventh month my husband and I knew they were both girls."
Isabella and Abigail were born June 2, 2000. Abigail is 15 minutes older.
Michelle married Tom Walsh in 1998. She is also a stepmother to Tom's two teenagers, a boy and a girl from a previous marriage.
Upon learning she was going to have twins, she said, "We just bought two of everything and hoped for the best."
"I mean, really, when we went in to buy the cribs and the mattresses and all the bedding, I was, like, 'Oh my God, this is so much money!' " she laughs.
Emily was born June 26, 2002.
Walsh graduated from Westmont High School in 1990. She earned her teaching credential from California State University, Chico and taught sixth grade for four years.
"I never imagined it would be like this," Walsh said. "I was a teacher, so I always loved kids, and I always wanted a gaggle of them, but never in my wildest dreams did I ever think that I would be having twins, ever. Or that I would be a stepmom. I mean, that was never in the white cloud, fairy tale picture that I had of how married life would be."
One of her main concerns was about breastfeeding the twins. "I really felt strongly about nursing them, and I was a little worried about how I was going to do that. And I did it for 11 months."
At 2 years of age, Isabella and Abigail are just beginning to develop speaking skills.
"They have their own language going on. I mean they definitely say English words, but there'll be times when they'll be having conversations and they know exactly what the other one is saying. And I have no idea what they're talking about."
Walsh said that she doesn't feel left out, however. "I think it's kind of cool. I feel like an observer, almost," Walsh said wistfully. "I've heard moms of twins say that when their kids get a little older they feel like a third wheel. I don't really feel that way, even though they are closer to each other than even to me or to my husband."
The twins may look similar, but Walsh says they've developed polarized temperaments.
"Isabella is more outgoing. I mean, she has no volume control whatsoever," she said. "Abigail is usually the more shy one."
"Abby shy!" Isabella screams.
Walsh said that to tell them apart, she usually dresses Isabella in blue and Abigail in anything else. Although they are fraternal twins, they resemble each other so closely some people have difficulty determining who is who.
In another part of Willow Glen, a second pair of fraternal twins is about to celebrate their first birthday on Oct. 9.
Connor and Emily Eslick have the run of the living room under the supervision of their 32-year-old mother, Jennifer.
Eslick said she learned she was carrying twins nine weeks into her pregnancy. "I went in for a doctor's appointment at four weeks for a blood test, and my levels were really high, so the doctors had a suspicion that I was having twins."
She waited another four weeks to have an ultrasound.
"We were a little bit surprised," she said.
"Twins run in our family, but we really hadn't thought about it too much. I think for about a month we were kind of in shock, and then we got really excited about it."
Eslick's mother miscarried twins when Eslick was 3 years old, in the early 1970s.
"They were born premature and didn't survive. Doctors didn't have all the resources they do now," Eslick said.
At 11 months, Emily's vocabulary consists of two words ("mommy" and "daddy"), and Connor's three ("mommy," "daddy" and "bye-bye").
Unlike the Walsh twins, it's only recently that the Eslick twins have become interactive with each other.
"It's maybe been only the last couple months that they've really started to play, kind of babble back and forth to each other," Eslick said.
"You can't really tell if they actually understand what each other is saying--if it means something or if it's just their way of communicating. Their personalities sure are different. She's very outgoing and persistent. He's a little bit more mellow and easygoing."
Eslick, who grew up in Palo Alto and graduated from Palo Alto High School in 1988, believes Willow Glen shares a lot of qualities with Palo Alto.
"I think as far as the community goes, they're quite similar. I mean, they have a lot to offer families and children, and the schools are good. ... Willow Glen is a great place. You have the library and the nice parks and nice neighborhoods to walk in, lots of families."
Both Walsh and Eslick have joined support groups for parents of "multiples"—twins and triplets.
They speak highly of the Gemini Crickets Parents of Multiples, which began meeting in 1971.
According to Kathy Formica, parent liaison for the Gemini Crickets, the organization currently has about 150 members. Membership is $25 a year, but the group has about 30 low-income families who receive membership discounts.
"It's such a hard time," Formica said about raising newborn multiples.
|
Photograph by Jacqueline Ramseyer
Double Take: Fraternal twins Emily and Connor Eslick, shown here with mother Jennifer, will celebrate their first birthday October 9.
|
Formica said that members are mostly parents of twins. She's only been a member the past few weeks and can't recall whether any former members were parents of triplets or quadruplets.
She said that even though membership usually drops when children get older, most parents join well before giving birth.
"It was nice to have that support, but that was more for when I was pregnant," Walsh said.
Walsh also joined the Double Rainbows: Santa Clara County Mothers of Twins.
Both groups have monthly meetings; provide support, services and health advice; and organize play dates, which are usually held at public parks.
One of the preferred parks in the San Jose area is Bramhall Park on Willow Street in Willow Glen. Bramhall, like the other preferred parks, has enclosed play areas for infants.
"I feel pretty confident in my parenting abilities, so I haven't really had any issues," Walsh said. On parenting in general and raising twins in particular: "I just did it, you know. You just kind of do it. You're in the war and you fight it."
Double Rainbows: Santa Clara Mothers of Twins, meets at the Southside Community Center, 5585 Cottle Road, San Jose. For more information, call 408.535.0391 or visit www.sccmotc.com. Gemini Cricket Parents of Multiples is located at St. Justin Parish, 2755 Homestead Road, Santa Clara. For more information, call 408.536.0811 or visit www.geminicrickets.org.
|